pole dancer

Best Field Trip Ever! Pole Dancer Twirls Tastefully For Schoolchildren, Young Boys Hit Puberty Early Anyway (And Dads Thrilled They Were Forced to Chaperone)

By Nick Perkins

You know, back in our day, school field trips consisted solely of fire stations, animal farms, and, if we were really lucky, the planetarium. Incidentally, the children in the following video were probably seeing stars as well after getting an up-close-and-personal encounter with a pole dancer.

We’re not sure where, or why, this video is taking place, but it sure as heck looks like the greatest school field trip of all time. We don’t know the context in which these events are happening, but after watching it multiple times (for research purposes), we’ve taken down the following observations.

  • The amount of wide-open mouths from children (and adults).
  • The creepy dads capturing the moment on their smartphones, no doubt locking the footage in a “hidden” album for later.
  • The mom who starts clapping out of respect, no doubt remembering her own days on the pole.
  • Who pole dances to “Hallelujah?”
  • The dad on the far left who is planning how to leave his wife and child because he is in love.
  • All of the younger girls who just realized how they’re going to pay for college.
  • The little boy in the back left who also just wants to dance but is constrained by gender roles and playground monitors.
  • Did this field trip happen in a church? It kinda looks like a church.
  • Who brought the strobe light?
  • The kid in the back wearing suspenders and a bowtie, which is the perfect outfit to wear to these types of shows.

And so on. Look, we’re not judging this field trip. We think it’s awesome. The dancer is clearly talented and we fully believe schools should teach more life-applicable courses. We just didn’t think we’d get to this point so soon. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to watch the video a few more times.

For research purposes.

Cover Photo: Mel-nik (Getty Images)

Feast your eyes: Exotic Dancers Think Outside the Box to Deliver Food

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Nick Perkins
Nick Perkins

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