Celebrities are notorious for attention-grabbing behaviors, and that’s fine as long as they’re the ones subjected to the spotlight. What’s more egregious, and completely unforgivable, is when they subject their kids to international mockery by giving them completely irrational names. The latest celebrity offenders of this heinous crime are Elon Musk and Grimes, who recently welcomed a son.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 5, 2020
His name is reportedly X Æ A-12 Musk, which reads like the bastard child of a barcode and a mathematical equation. If this is supposed to be a joke, it isn’t very funny, and if it’s the kid’s real name, well, he’s in for a lifetime of teasing. (Good job, guys.) How does X Æ A-12 Musk compare to other celebrity kids’ monikers? Well, we rounded up some stupid names celebrities have slapped on their offspring, then ranked them.
Cover Photo: ANGELA WEISS / Contributor (Getty Images)
Tone-deaf: The 20 Worst Tweets From Stupid Politicians and Misguided Celebrities on Coronavirus
So many baby bumps: Celebrity Couples Expecting In 2020
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Celebrity Kids Names
-
10. Apple Martin
We love apples as much as the next person, but why would you name your kid after produce? The poor daughter of actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin is stuck with this fruity name for life.
Photo: MJ Kim (Getty Images)
-
9. Blue Ivy Carter
Flora often serves as baby name inspiration, but the daughter of musical artists Jay-Z and Beyonce got stuck with a stinker of a name.
Photo: Kevin Mazur (Getty Images for NARAS)
-
8. Kulture Kiari Cephus
If you're going to name your kid after a noun, could you at least spell it correctly? Apparently not if you're the daughter of rappers Cardi B and Offset.
Photo: Johnny Nunez/WireImage (Getty Images)
-
7. Psalm West
We get it, Kanye West. You're a born-again Christian. But did you have to make your son with Kim Kardashian West bear a bible-thumping name as proof? We'd bet anything he'll end up being an atheist.
Photo: Kim Kardashian (Instagram)
-
6. Bear Blaze Winslet
We thought Kate Winslet had more sense (and sensibility), but the name for her son with Edward Abel Smith is all kinds of hippie woo-hoo.
Photo: Max Mumby/Indigo (Getty Images)
-
5. Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp
This one we just don't understand at all. For a talented lyricist like John Mellencamp to name his son with Elaine Irwin something as insignificant as dust just blows our minds.
Photo: Paul Natkin/WireImage (Getty Images)
-
4. Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf-Lee
As hardcore cartoon fans, we could maybe get behind Inspector Gadget as a kid's name, but Pilot Inspektor just sounds like a job description. Still, it was the moniker of choice for the son of actor Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf.
Photo: Michael Buckner (Getty Images for IMG)
-
3. Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen
How many drugs do you think Frank Zappa and Adelaide Gail Sloatman-Zappa were on when they named their daughter something that sounds like a diet food brand? It was the '70s, after all.
Photo: David Crotty/Patrick McMullan (Getty Images)
-
2. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
No doubt two songwriters could come up with a sweet-sounding name for their son. Instead, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale came up with what could be the next big name in hard seltzer.
Photo: Chris Wolf/FilmMagic (Getty Images)
-
1. X Æ A-12 Musk
We don't know what this name means but one thing is clear: Grimes and Elon Musk clearly hate their kid already.
Photo: Taylor Hill (Getty Images)
