The silver lining to all this coronavirus business: Things couldn’t get much weirder (we think), which is why April Fools’ Day has been cancelled. Or at least postponed with the rest of humanity.
This is no joke. Actually, it’s kind of nice not having to react to office pranks, fake pregnancies or dad jokes that break up the family until Christmas. Instead of whoopee cushions or fart machine this year, we’re just going to give you these ridiculous tweets and say see you next year. Just another missing misappropriated holiday. But if you’re looking for weird, strange or downright hilarious news, we’ve got plenty of actual fucked-up life stories below:
Quaran-Tweet: 20 Hilarious Tweets From Comedians to Keep You Laughing Through Coronavirus
Father John Misty Releases ‘Off-Key in Hamburg’ Live Album For COVID-19 Support, Currently God’s Favorite Musician
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Weird News 3-12-2020
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Calvin Klein Releases Gender Neutral Fragrance, Likely Smells Like Water and Conformity
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Photo Credit: Calvin Klein
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New ‘All the Streams’ Lets Cheapskates Watch Streaming Services For Free (Like Watching Cable at Your Parents’)
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Photo Credit: shironosov (Getty Images)
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Shame Cone is the Latest Coronavirus Prevention Product (For You, Not the Dog)
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Photo Credit: globalmoments (Getty Images)
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Pearl Necklaces (Not That Kind) Are Quickly Becoming the Must-Have Accessory for Men in 2020
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Photo Credit: Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank (Getty Images)
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Joaquin Phoenix About to Marry Fiancee Rooney Mara, Wedding Goers Just Glad the Groom Isn’t Expected to Give Speech
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Photo Credit: Pascal Le Segretain / Staff (Getty Images)
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Coronavirus Porn Is the Latest Guilty Pleasure, Quaran-Teens in Your Area (Legal Ones, Of Course)
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Photo Credit: Fuse (Getty Images)
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Toilet Paper Alternatives to Cover Your Ass During the Coronavirus Panic
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Photo Credit: Darren Fast (Getty Images)
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Everything Coronavirus Has Ruined So Far
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Photo Credit: mediaphotos (Getty Images)
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Adrien Brody Dating Harvey Weinstein’s Ex-Wife, Likely Preparing for Role in Horror Show With Boobytraps
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Photo Credit: Drew Altizer Photography (Shutterstock), Dave Benett (Getty Images)
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Police Chief Stripped of Duties, Decides to Strip His Clothing As Well
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Photo Credit: John Summer (Getty Images)
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Meanwhile in Florida: Monkeys Have Their Own Virus to Contend With, Incidentally They Know More About It Than Mike Pence Does About Ours
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Photo Credit: Jeremy Woodhouse (Getty Images)
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Hand Sanitizer Prices Skyrocket Amid Coronavirus, Our Cheap DIY Suggestions to Avoid Getting Scammed
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Photo Credit: matspersson0 (Getty Images)