It’s Friday, but more importantly, it’s time for our funniest tweets to celebrate surviving another week of this madness. If you missed our last Tweets of the Week, you missed Elizabeth Warren handing Bloomberg his balls, Trump getting upset Korea is winning our Oscars, Russians getting the early-bird start on hacking our primaries and Jeffrey Epstein definitely not killing himself. Thank goodness we have this sweet tweet video to make it all better! Now catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then, of course, follow us on Twitter or our name isn’t @Mandatory.
No Time to Die: Billie Eilish’s Bond Theme Song Is an Instant Classic (And 11 Other Undeniable Movie Theme Songs)
The Original ‘Ninja Turtles’ Movie Turns 30, But Now: Meet the Middle-Aged Millennial Ninja Turtles
Weird News 2.6.2020
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Anti-Vaxxer Charged After Throwing Menstrual Blood in Court, Perfect Example For Why You Should Vaccinate Your Kids
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Dumpster Dive: Investigation Discovers Amazon Third-Party Sellers Who Repackage Actual Trash
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Meanwhile in Florida: Woman ‘Accidentally’ Gifts Semi-Automatic Rifle at Baby Shower, Completely Blows Away Karen’s Baby Yoga Mat
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Woman’s Butthole Is a Business Page, But Facebook Is the Real Asshole for Not Taking It Down
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Gene-Edited Baby Born in China, Vows World Domination Before Gender Reveal Party
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Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Man Steals Car From Valet, Wasn’t Planning on Leather Seats
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Disservice Animal: Cleverly Disturbed Man Registers Beer as an Emotional Support Pet
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Minnie Mouse Lands First Punch in Vegas Disney Brawl, Bet You Didn’t See Her Comin’
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Meanwhile in Florida: Bus Evacuated After Teen Hot-Boxes It With Axe Body Spray, Coins New Term ‘Douchebus’
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Kentucky School Expels Girl Over Rainbow Birthday Cake and Matching Sweater, Then Gets Sued For Being Enormous Prick
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Meanwhile in Florida: Mom Leaves Kids on Bus to Smoke Weed, Alternative Parenting Style Denied
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Meanwhile in America: Dumbass Caught Robbing Bank After Ironic Social Media Post About Making It ‘Look Easy’