Meanwhile in Florida: Disney World Characters Too Cute Not to Squeeze Without Consent

Disneyland may have family fistfights on lock, but sexual harassment belongs to Florida, where a 51-year-old man was arrested for groping the Little Mermaid during a recent trip to Orlando’s happiest place on Earth. And this isn’t the first time inappropriate touching has been reported from the theme park. In December, a Minnesota man visiting the park had several unsavory exchanges with cast members, including a separate groping incident involving Minnie Mouse. Even Donald Duck, (who’s a buzzkill on a good day) reported nonconsensual “frantic” stroking by park visitors. In fact, Disney World has had such an explosion of incidents involving handsy guests lately, it’s kind of becoming symbolic of the brand.

Everyone agrees with how disturbing it is that hardworking employees should be subjected to the harassment of lonely Americans. But is it any wonder that parkgoers are so revved up by the time they lay eyes on a Disney character? After all, Disney has spent decades creating a subliminal culture of sex–a fantasy world of characters whose sexual proclivities know no bounds. Not to mention, after dropping a month’s worth of wages just to get into the resort, some guests are clearly expecting more than a high-five. We think Disney’s decades-long obsession with sex has finally spilled over into the public consciousness, causing alarming rates of character-based arousal. Let’s take a look at the compelling evidence below.

Photo: Handout (Getty Images)

Red carpet drama: Oscar Snubs: 10 People Brutally Ignored by the 2020 Academy Award Nominations

Dumpster dive: Investigation Discovers Amazon Third-Party Sellers Who Repackage Actual Trash

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.