Did anyone have as good a holiday as the meth gator? According to a Florida newspaper report, the reptile feasted on the remains of a man who’d overdosed on meth, earning himself the title as the luckiest drug-addled bull east of the Mississippi. The gator, who was found tweaking nearby the man’s body, was taken into custody and interrogated by authorities before confessing to his holiday indulgence. But a coroner’s report quickly released him of any wrongdoing when it was discovered that the victim had died hours before the alligator’s lunchtime. Although the charges of manslaughter were dropped against the scaly degenerate, he was fined for loitering, a small price to pay for the Christmas gift of a lifetime.
Photo: David Pattyn/Nature Picture Library (Getty Images)
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Weird News 12-17-2019
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Company Hiring People to Smoke Pot For $3,000 and All the Cool Ranch Doritos You Can Eat (‘Weed’ Do It For Free)
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Police Chief Shocked to Find ‘Pig’ Written on His Starbucks Cup, His Daughter Not Shocked in the Least
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Man Eats $120K Banana at Art Basel, Proving That Some Art Is as Delicious as It Is Dumb
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Greta Thunberg Named Time’s Person of the Year For Standing Up to Climate Change, Old White Men Complain While Destroying Planet
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Petition to Rename Fire Ants to ‘Spicy Boys’ Gathers Steam, ‘Picante’ Rejected For Being Too Clever
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Shelter Cat Fingered As Purr-Petrator in Repeated Cases of Kitty Breakout
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Woman Rescued After 8 Days in Bathtub, Expected to Join the California Raisins Next Summer on Tour
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‘Dick Fish’ Wash Ashore by the Thousands in California, Our Worst Nightmare Has Finally Manifested
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Meanwhile in Florida: Overly-Eager Holiday Lover Sits Atop Family’s Roof in Nothing But Underwear, Christmas Drills in Progress
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Plot Twist: Bank Teller Robs Customer After Large Cash Withdrawal, Steals Their Free Sucker, Too
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Man Locked in Store After Falling Asleep and Being Left Alone, Everything He Dreamed It Could Be
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White Castle Issues Recall of Frozen Sliders Over Possible Listeria Contamination, We’ll Take Our Chances