Defeated Man Chooses Dead Pigeon as Street-Fighting Weapon Outside McDonald’s (and We’re Lovin’ It)

September 11, 2019

We’ve all had drunken nights, haven’t we? Perhaps one or more of those nights included you puffing your chest out in an effort to be the evening’s Alpha male. We bet none of you, however, has been bold enough to use a dead pigeon as a weapon like this guy did when he was engaged in inebriated combat. Bystanders caught footage of a street fight outside a Liverpool McDonald’s recently that had an “im-peck-able” ending. Two presumably drunk guys were squaring off for some late-night fisticuffs. As one of the drunkards was pulled away by a level-headed friend, he picked up a dead pigeon and hurled it at his foe in what we can only assume is some sort of technique in crane-style fighting. Let this be a lesson to you all, Mandatory Nation — any and all items in your environment can be used as weapons when in a street fight. Protect yourselves at all times, even if it’s with a dead bird.

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Erik is a longtime writer and editor who was once an underground hip-hop superstar with dreams of playing in the NBA. Those dreams became afterthoughts when Erik met the love of his life -- pizza. Unable to dunk a basketball anymore, and coping with being full from eating yet another large with pepperoni and onions, Erik gave up rap stardom and began writing on the internet because it’s so much cooler than rapping, touring the world and being a rich basketball player. He also likes romantic comedies.