marry chandelier

Woman Set to Marry 91-Year-Old Chandelier, Cannot Hold a Candle to Her Love

By Erik Fontanez

We get that dating is tough and it’s really difficult to find the one person who might make you happy for the rest of your life. But if you’ve fallen back on committing to random stuff you find in your house, you may have hit rock bottom. This might be the case for a woman who intends on marrying her chandelier. Thirty-five-year-old Brit Amanda Liberty is so in love with a chandelier she owns, she’s committing to it for the rest of her life by putting a ring on it. The pending nuptials come after Liberty had a long-distance relationship with the Statue of Liberty. The statue wasn’t available for comment about its ex getting married because, you know, it’s a statue.

Liberty refers to herself as an objectum sexual, which, according to Google, is a sexual preference for inanimate objects. This completely opens the doors to being sexually attracted to anything imaginable. You ever look at a pole and want to jump on it? You might just be an objectum sexual. Depending on the stiffness of the pole, of course. There’s no wedding date currently set for Liberty and her chandelier. If and when she actually follows through with marrying this thing, there’s no word on if she’ll sleep next to it or have it hang in the dining room. Either way, we’re thinking the chandelier won’t have much say on the matter.

Photo: SrdjanPav (Getty Images)

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Erik Fontanez
Erik Fontanez

 

Erik is a longtime writer and editor who was once an underground hip-hop superstar with dreams of playing in the NBA. Those dreams became afterthoughts when Erik met the love of his life -- pizza. Unable to dunk a basketball anymore, and coping with being full from eating yet another large with pepperoni and onions, Erik gave up rap stardom and began writing on the internet because it’s so much cooler than rapping, touring the world and being a rich basketball player. He also likes romantic comedies.

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