Summer is the season of backyard barbecues, weekday ragers, and Saturday shindigs. But what happens when you’re over the party before the party is over? How can you encourage your guests to hit the road without being a dick and straight-up kicking them out? Next time the party’s in full swing and you find yourself yawning, try one of these seven super sneaky ways to wind things down without any bad vibes befalling you. After all, going to a party is awesome, but throwing one kind of sucks.
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Partys Over
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Call the cops on yourself.
Nobody can claim you're not a party animal when the police show up to shut down the fun. Every drunk person in the world hates the cops. And the fact that you took one for the team and got hauled off to jail will only make you a hero.
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Set the house on fire.
Get that smoke bomb ready and be prepared to run. You'd be surprised how fast a convincing performance and the word "Fire!" yelled at full volume can clear a room.
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Hit the fuse box.
Things either get super creepy or super dull when the lights go off. Unless you've invited a very specific crowd, in which case, you're about to host an orgy.
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Lead everyone outside for a 'fireworks show,' then sneak back inside and lock the door.
It's a little sneaky, but that's what this list is all about. By the time your wasted friends realize there is no fireworks show, you'll be snugly tucked in bed watching re-runs of Jeopardy.
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Fake a murder.
Lifelike dummies can be procured from your local prop house or puppet shop. Just be prepared for this lie to last for years to come, as your friends won't STFU about it forever.
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Pass out on the kitchen floor.
Whether accidental or planned, seeing the host pass out in a puddle of his own vomit on the kitchen floor is a real buzzkill that should send your revelers packing. But either way, if your blackout collapse is for real, you won't even notice there's a party still going on. Genius.
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Conga line that shit to another party down the street.
The wonderful thing about summer parties is that everyone's throwing them. Take advantage of your new neighbor's low-key housewarming party to lead a conga line of 50 of your drunk friends right to their freshly painted doorstep, washing your hands of the whole mess.
The world wants to party, why not let them?
