Photo: cipella (Getty Images)
There is one stereotype about men that is totally true. We hate going to the doctor. Not only does it feel like a huge imposition to carve the appointment into our day, being examined and prodded by a guy we see once a year is not our idea of a good time. Not to mention the notion that something’s wrong with us threatens our vitality. That’s why sitting alone in a doctor’s office leaves no room for rational thinking. In fact, it’s the perfect time to privately freak out and throw our chair at the window. Because every time we enter the Hippocratic domain, our head immediately fills with dread. But luckily we can ease the wait (and loathing) at our next doctor’s appointment with these 10 incredibly irrational thoughts.
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Doctors Office
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A classroom full of med students will be invited to watch our testicular examination.
So we undress, lie back on the table, and the let the nurse jelly up our junk. Just as we are settling in for the duration, a curtain pulls back to reveal a room of 40 people staring at our sac. We're all for education, but come on!
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Here comes the surprise colonoscopy.
Some surprises are fun. Others are clearly not.
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The lump on our balls is serious.
No guy wants to hear that there's something wrong with his balls. It's a sensitive subject. And reason enough to scare us every single time we visit the doctor's office.
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There will be an enormous hidden fee.
A hidden fee always leaves a bad aftertaste and can happen almost anywhere -- out to dinner, at the mechanic, even at the gym. But when it comes to our doctor's office, a giant bill can create a level of anxiety that causes us to gather our belongings in a bundle and climb out the window before it's too late.
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The entire western medical profession is a sham and our doctor is a quack.
The medical degree on the wall is starting to look like a forgery, and we're wondering if anyone is really qualified to tell us how to live our life.
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A comic book super-villain has chosen now to attack the hospital.
So you promised your girlfriend you'd get that mole on your back checked out, and now you're the victim of another one of The Joker's dastardly plots to take over the city. Told her so.
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Any minute there will enter an insanely hot nurse.
You know exactly why this is a problem. Because real life isn't like the internet.
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It's actually lupus.
Everything was going so great, until the doctor said, "Lupus." Well, if we never hear him say it, then it isn't true. Where did the nurse put our shoes?
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MK-Ultra is back and we are patient zero.
Why is the doctor taking so long? It's probably because he is conferring with government agents in the next room as they decide how much LSD to spike us with. Ugh. Not again.
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We will have to wait in this room forever.
After about five minutes, the thought always creeps into our head: Yes, we're stuck in this room forever. Dang, now we'll never see how Game of Thrones ends.
