Man With Blue Eyes Eating Cereal. Photo: Jena Ardell (Getty)
It’s hard to argue against an early morning of skin flicks and choice breakfast cereals. Then again, when you don’t partake in either of them in your own home, therein lies the problem.
According to WTOL, an unidentified man in Toledo recently had himself a bender for the ages. He first woke up a pair of women in their house and chowed down on their Frosted Flakes. Then, he followed it up by passing out in a nearby porn shop.
Police said they first responded to a burglary call at approximately 3:20 A.M. on June 23. The call was placed by a mother and daughter who said they awoke to a “tall, thin white male with short, cropped hair and wearing a gray shirt” eating their Frosted Flakes. The mother told the man to get out of their house. Thankfully, he obliged. Surprisingly, the only thing the man made off with other than about 50 cents worth of cereal was the daughter’s I.D. Neither item would have been swiped if the ladies would have simply locked their front door.
That’s right, kids. When you don’t lock your front door, people will come inside and steal your cereal.
At least he wasn’t the nude type: Louisiana Woman Comes Home To Find Naked Stranger Eating Cheetos In Her Tub
Roughly ten minutes later, the cashier at Four Star Books told police he had to kick a dude out who fell asleep in a viewing booth. Since he left behind his wallet with his I.D. inside, police were able to determine it was the same man who robbed the ladies.
Police then went to the address listed on the I.D., but nobody answered the door. They believe he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol, and we’ll go ahead and file that one under “no shit.”
