This Week’s 20 Funniest Tweets 5-4-18

Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) / @OctopusCavemann (Twitter)

Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.

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Funny Tweets 5-4-18

I love the official poster with the drawings made by the actors of the movie, I call it Art pic.twitter.com/GWJ6HZxYxo

— isa/ I SAW INFINITY WAR (@hollandftmarvel) May 2, 2018

Calling Buffalo Wild Wings “bdubs”

— Things White Folks Like (@Things4WhitePpl) May 3, 2018

When I have no idea how to comfort my friends but I try anyway pic.twitter.com/nhV4ms1Sc1

— give carly rae jepsen a sword (@nicksparks94) April 25, 2018

Lebron + Owen Wilson’s “Wow” is amazing pic.twitter.com/NFXAgNqEL0

— The Fake ESPN (@TheFakeESPN) May 2, 2018

[in a steel doomsday bunker]

FRIEND: I could use some kool-aid.

ME: No!

[something strikes the side of our bunker]

— Consider John frazzled (@FrazzleMyGimp) May 1, 2018

Jesus Christ Disney, stop pic.twitter.com/SWYEXuJfLO

— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) May 1, 2018

Just overheard a little boy call rhinos ‘warrior unicorns’ and my mind is blown

— Rebecca Gladstone (@rgladstone91) April 21, 2018

Here’s Rudy Giuliani’s face photoshopped onto a bunch of cold cuts for no reason. pic.twitter.com/OmZJL6FavE

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) May 3, 2018

its cool when you see a tweet that has 130k retweets but that person still has like 300 followers. soooo many people looked at that person’s account and were like nah

— jon hendren (@fart) April 30, 2018

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? pic.twitter.com/iH9R1FmhjQ

— Brandon Vaughn (@Brandamonium) May 3, 2018

Twitter, you’ve done it again: The Funniest Meme To Come From ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Spoils The Ending

Therapist: What’s wrong?

Me: If I do the Borat voice once more, I’ll be getting a divorce

Therapist: And who told you that?

Me: *tearfully clears throat*

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) April 30, 2018

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life pic.twitter.com/6ZMVAB3HfS

— sadelyn (@sadelynnnn) May 2, 2018

Dear Amazon, I bought a toilet seat because I needed one. Necessity, not desire. I do not collect them. I am not a toilet seat addict. No matter how temptingly you email me, I’m not going to think, oh go on then, just one more toilet seat, I’ll treat myself.

— Jac Rayner (@GirlFromBlupo) April 6, 2018

Um, they prefer the term “goth” pic.twitter.com/YlKPOihjZv

— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) February 6, 2018

[Invention of the tuba]

I want to hear farts but not smell them

— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCavemann) May 1, 2018

could I BE stealing any more infinity stones pic.twitter.com/0OfmcmPl4f

— elv (@_ElvishPresley_) May 2, 2018

Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) April 20, 2018