Chinese Man Uses 3-Foot Cable To ‘Relieve Itchiness’ Inside Penis, Gets Stuck

Photo: Pitiphothivichit (Getty Images)

Spoiler alert: It didn’t go too well.

According to Inquirer.Net, a Chinese man recently thought it would be a good idea to grab a three-foot long charging cable and jam it up his peehole in an effort to “relieve itchiness caused by prostatitis.”

It was not.

Officials said the man was rushed to the hospital on March 30 after he tried to pull the cable out of his penis, but “it became tangled in his bladder on the way out.” In fact, a knot in the cord actually caused bleeding instead.

Dr. Gao Zhanfeng is a urologist at the Dalian Hospital in northeast China, and he’s also the guy who found the knot in this poor bastard’s bladder after running a scan. Dr. Zhanfeng then removed the cable, which measured in at roughly five millimeters wide, by “cutting it up in sections using a laser.”

The doc then asked the man if he had sterilized the cable before going fishing up his peehole, and the man said he only “washed it under running water.” However, it should be noted that it really doesn’t matter if you wash the cable or sterilize it. You see, guys, it won’t make a difference as long as you keep it out of your penis.