Photo: mirceax (Getty Images)
People make this a great planet to call home, but people can also make this place a living hell. For one 72-year-old Spanish man, human beings are so unbearable that he wants to spend his final years on Earth living with wolves.
According to the Daily Mail, Marcos Rodríguez Pantoja was adopted by a pack of wolves when he was abandoned in Spain’s Sierra Morena mountain range at just seven-years- old. For the next 12 years, he ran around the hills half-naked and barefoot with his family of wolves, and that was his paradise until somebody plucked him from his cave and forced him into human society.
Well, Pantoja says the last 53 years coexisting with humans sucked balls, and it’s time for him to return to the wolves. To him, living in a cave with a wolfpack, bats and snakes beats the hell out of being “cheated and abused, exploited by bosses in the hospitality and construction industries and left with nothing.”
Instead of fast food and pizza, Pantoja said he’d rather go back to eating berries and roots and sharing meat with wolves, something he learned to do as a child before he was forced to move into an orphanage with nuns. Whether or not that happens depends largely on today’s wolves, who Pantoja said haven’t been as accepting of him because he now wears cologne.
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So then it’s official, guys. Life always comes down to how much cologne you’re wearing.