Photo: Farinosa (Getty)
I once knew a kid in elementary school who was so fat that it actually saved his life one night when he was hit by a car, as doctors said a much skinner kid would have seen damn near every bone in his body break after getting thrown roughly 50 yards through the air after impact.
According to the Daily Mail, a similar judgment was recently handed down by District Judge Mark Hadfield in a Manchester, England courtroom, except in this case, it was deemed that there was no way a 106-pound Alaskan Malamute named Mishka could have bitten a woman earlier this year because she is just “too fat.”
Not the woman. The dog.
Dog cleared of attacking cyclist because it was too fat to run @MetroUK https://t.co/agSv8izfoH
— Cavendish Press (@cavendishpress) November 20, 2017
84-year-old Francis Thorley says the only thing wrong with his rescue dog Mishka is that she’s overweight because she really likes her treats.
Yeah, no shit.
Thorley and his daughter argued that Mishka’s obesity prevents her from not only being active enough where running is a possibility but also being aggressive toward anyone or their pup. Andrea Ostholt said she was riding a tricycle with her terrier cross Woody in Chorlton Park last April, and quite the contrary happened when Mishka became aggressive and starting running at her dog. She said that she tried to intervene, but Mishka wound up biting her in her leg in the process.
Judge Hadfield saw it in favor of Thorley and his plump pup, concluding that Mishka is indeed too damn fat to do anything of that nature. And that once again goes to show that adults who ride tricycles simply cannot be trusted.
