Photo: Universal Pictures
In case you’ve been living under a rock, the Powerball was up to an absurd winning jackpot of $758.7 million. And we say “was” because there is now one winning ticket. That’s right, one. Word has it that the winning ticket was sold at a Pride Station & Store in Chicopee, Massachusetts. Of course it’s a town no one has heard of in the middle of nowhere — probably to a person who is near death because that’s what usually happens.
The winning numbers were 6, 7, 16, 23 and 26, and the Powerball number was 4. The name of the jackpot’s winner has not been released but now it doesn’t matter because neither I nor millions of other people won’t see one penny of that. And if I sound a tad bitter I’m not the only one because Twitter is also bitter and jealous.
Wen u heard someone in Massachusetts won #Powerball pic.twitter.com/92Y7dQKfgc
— Doug (@Always__Doug) August 24, 2017
Me before #Powerball numbers are drawn: It’s all about the fun of the game, guys. Don’t take it too seriously
Me after numbers are drawn: pic.twitter.com/8A573r1AsG— Wendy Bellevue (@RealWendyBelle) August 24, 2017
Someone in Massachusetts is waking up a #powerball winner this morning. The rest of us are going back to work. Mmkay. pic.twitter.com/GMKQoJdaYw
— Paris C. (@pariscarerra) August 24, 2017
The odds of winning Powerball are 1 in 292 million, but the chance of getting Sainthood is 1 in 20 million, so I’m gonna go for that instead
— Sarah (@thetigersez) August 24, 2017
— Mrs. Nneka Webb (@Mimiwebb6) August 24, 2017
— swix_spence (@spence_swix) August 24, 2017
— ArtificiallyFlavored (@_Random_Name_) August 24, 2017
don’t worry everyone I will be at work tomorrow. I didn’t win the Powerball. pic.twitter.com/R4dXXf8WRI
— Suzy I-A (@senora_ia) August 24, 2017
— Amber (@BBTrashStan) August 24, 2017
— Brandon (@BrandonUlrich2) August 24, 2017
— TheAverageBlackMan™ (@TheAvgBlackMan) August 24, 2017
I won $2 from the powerball, it’s lit!!!
— ca-milly rock (@heytherecamille) August 24, 2017
And in case you were wondering, the payout can be taken as one lump sum or in 29 yearly payments. And after taxes one person will be reeling in about $443 million. Swell.
h/t Washington Post
