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Ohh, Reddit, how would we know that people everywhere are as crazy as we are if it wasn’t for you? These crazy sex stories users of Reddit have shared made us feel so much better about our adventures in the bed, as we never had the embarrassments and awkward moments like these people. But they made for funny, great memories so there’s that to comfort the heroes of these crazy sex stories.
Some of them might’ve have resulted from following the worst sex advice, others (most) are the direct result of alcohol, some cool, some dreadful, some funny but one is sure – all of them are entertaining.
We sure hope you don’t recognize yourself in some of these crazy sex stories, or do, that would be awesome too.
Crazy Sex Stories
1. One of my earlier exes was obsessed with MMA and kickboxing. She was normal when she was sober, but after some alcohol, all her inhibitions would disappear entirely.
One night, she had too much to drink and she ended up asking me to massage her back. After I finished rubbing her back, I laid face down, expecting one back. Instead, she pulls my pants and boxers cleanly off, then starts spontaneously doing “stuff.” It was getting pretty hot…until, suddenly, I hear her yell, “TSA!” and I feel a sharp pain go up my ass and up my back. She’d karate chopped the crack of my ass…I had a bruise there for a week.
2. Not my own crazy sex story…
I was taking a sociology of sexuality class and the prof had invited an ex-prostitute in, to field our questions. Someone asked essentially the OP’s question about crazy sex stories. She replied by telling us a story about a regular of hers that liked to sit on the floor naked with his legs spread, while she would meow like a kitten and roll hard-boiled eggs at his balls.
How the hell do you even find out that turns you on??
3. When I was nineteen I had sex on 50 lbs. bags of sugar in the back of a donut shop while a family of five ate donuts at the counter. Best shift ever in the shittiest job I ever had. The next day went in to collect my paycheck and the waitress who I had gotten busy with came in with her husband to collect her check.
4. Not mine crazy sex story, but of an old friend of mine. Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
He’s dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He’s hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn’t dismiss the idea outright.
Anyway…they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggy style, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can’t think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting but demanding it.
So he comes up with: “Yeah…you like that, you fucking retard?” He’s never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
5. My first girlfriend, back in high school, was going down on me. Everything was proceeding normally, up until she stops sucking for a second, pulls her head up, cocks it to the side, looks at my dick kinda funny, and then starts making lightsaber noises while swinging it back and forth. Kinda funny, I guess, until she starts making Wookiee noises. A blowjob from Chewbacca was not on my list of things to accomplish that evening.
Same girl, different time, looks up at me while she’s down there, and mustering up her best sexy expression, says in a sultry voice: “Does your mom know how big your cock is?” The worst dirty talk I’ve ever had.
