Header Photo: FRED TANNEAU/AFP (Getty) / Jesse McLaren (Twitter)
Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends later and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Funny Tweets 6-2-17
Can’t wait to roast my kids in a family group chat
— Zachary Piona (@Zachpiona) April 24, 2017
@PhilChard If I take my girl to see her favourite rapper/R&B singer perform and he calls her on stage, I’m somersaulting past security and going with
— ukhanki (@TboozeSA) May 27, 2017
— nimrod (@shmarsen) April 29, 2017
Girl asked me why I didn’t text her back… I said you text too slow… she texted back 5 hours later with this
Women are ridiculous pic.twitter.com/LF1dyhpc5C
— Duffy (@TheyHateDuff) May 28, 2017
My brother and his girl gender reveal. Safe to say she wanted a girl pic.twitter.com/HYs2Lxdvjo
— NoMoreL’s (@__DeeSmall) April 24, 2017
My wife made 1 cookies in preparation for my son’s 1st birthday party next month. I don’t think they look like 1s. pic.twitter.com/RIO8idf29o
— JT (@Jaberuski) May 29, 2017
Wow I didn’t think these things actually worked pic.twitter.com/1FIFPH2dvE
— Drew Gooden (@drewisgooden) April 26, 2017
Next he’ll be stalking you on the internet. https://t.co/uFXR8Ki1d1
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) May 25, 2017
Werewolves of London. pic.twitter.com/ix2Ftylf7v
— Steve Lieber (@steve_lieber) May 26, 2017
The men upset about the women-only Wonder Woman screening are going to lose it when they find out where Wonder Woman is from.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) May 26, 2017
When your cheesecake recipe tells you to “chill in the fridge for 1hr” pic.twitter.com/uPuDgRRiws
— Fimrod (@fimrod2) April 18, 2017
“GO GET HER BRUH ! SHE FEELING THAT FLORAL LOOK ON YA ROMPER, LOOKING MAD POETIC DAWG. YOU A FLOWER CHILD, BEAUTIFUL CHILD YOU IN THE ZONE!” pic.twitter.com/3lHIzMb7tg
— jerin. (@jaystuntin_) May 16, 2017
I GOT THIS I GOT THIS pic.twitter.com/2oOaVFurnY
— LUIS (@Lueeezus) May 1, 2017
fucking sick of it. get rid of it. pic.twitter.com/emkTSHmzWd
— chris (@criwank) May 15, 2017
My dude here is probably in college going through finals week. I can see the “dude i’ve got three tests in an hour just shoot me” look going https://t.co/kthI8fftTF
— Brian Luebben (@brian_uwg) April 28, 2017
Men can’t even laugh on this app no more pic.twitter.com/3ZhsgBrenF
— Coolee Bravo (@TheRealCoolee) April 18, 2017
when you tell your parents you wanna be Batman when you grow up but you realize what must be done pic.twitter.com/2lRKKgMDQo
— rock burgundy (@notRockB) May 16, 2017
One of my teammates has a dog in her Chem lab.. he’s also required to wear goggles during lab pic.twitter.com/Wqfrm7oIhW
— Tara (@tarahoward75) April 29, 2017
To get my mates down the pub I cut and pasted one pint 5 times and told them there were 5 pints waiting first 5 down gets a free one pic.twitter.com/odD5vnHbnw
— Jack Potter (@JackReecePotter) May 23, 2017
Stay right where you are I’m calling the police https://t.co/mfpd2uQiBm
— teez. (@InTeezWeTrust) April 25, 2017
