Photo: grinvalds (Getty)
Some of us don’t need a condom to tell us that we’re dog shit in the sack.
But according to Someecards, there’s a new “smart condom” on the market that will not only measure your humping performance but also compare it to others around the world.
The ‘i.Con’ from British Condoms will also measure calories burned during sexual intercourse, speed of thrusts, total number of thrusts, frequency of sessions, total duration of sessions, average velocity of thrusts, penis girth, different positions used and average skin temperature.
Photo: British Condoms
After an i.Con user is done with his plow, he’ll be able to use an i.Con app on his smartphone to download his data, and that sounds like something that will finally get his buddy to stop asking to borrow his phone. More importantly, the i.Con user will then be able to see once and for all whether or not he’s a stud.
The i.Con is supposedly “extremely lightweight and non-invasive,” and it can be all yours for less than 75 bucks. Of course, you could just buy a regular jimmy hat in a truck stop shitter for a dollar and then pay a well-traveled hooker roughy 27 bucks to tell you the same thing.
But hey, that’s your call to make.
