Photo: Stockphoto4u (Getty)
The internet is one hell of a research tool. Hell, thanks to the internet, I discovered how to fix a screen door, how to play a Van Morrison tune and that scissoring actually does feel good.
But according to The Parkersburg News and Sentinel, 28-year-old Timothy Blake discovered how to jerk off into a syringe and then squirt the semen all over unsuspecting women on the internet, and he then decided to give it the old college try the last two months in Marietta, Ohio.
Man Arrested For Putting Semen In A Syringe And Squirting Women With It
Police said Blake admitted to “12 instances in which he had masturbated in public shopping center parking lots, filled syringes with bodily fluid and followed women around stores squirting their backsides with the liquid.” Blake allegedly punched his clown in several Ford trucks with a “very distinct bumblebee” on the side of them that belonged to the oilfield company that he worked for.
The first woman to make a complaint against Blake did so almost two months ago after she found his splooge on her “backside” while she was shopping at Walmart. She also noticed him staring at her after she cleaned it off in the bathroom. Beyond perturbed, she then followed him to the parking lot and watched him get into his bumblebee truck and drive off.
Almost as embarrassing as getting busted squirting your jizz all over women? You guessed it: Getting arrested for doing so while you’re on your way to dinner with your wife, which is exactly what happened to Blake Friday night.
