Photo: Rubberball/Mike Kemp
It never fails. You run into the grocery store to grab a few quick items, hurry to the front of the store, only to find that out of the 900 possible checkout lanes, two of them are currently open. The line looks like you’re at Universal Studios. If that and the fact that you are nearly flat broke weren’t frustrating enough, it’s full of amateurs that don’t seem to understand the flow of the checkout lane. You have to be on your toes and ready to go. Hey lady, we don’t need you gazing into space or waist deep in the latest issue of US Weekly trying to find out what clothes Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson wore to the MTV Movie Awards. Just get your stuff and keep it moving! We’ve all been there, so to help you cope with the agony, here are the ten worst people in front of you in line at the grocery store.
The Worst People In Front Of You At The Grocery Store
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The Worst People In Front Of You At The Grocery Store
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1. The Extreme Couponer
We're all thrilled that you were able to save one dollar on each of your Lunchables; we just wish we didn't have to wait behind you for an hour while it was happening.
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2. The Cell Phone Gazer
We all hate the person who's deep in a phone call while checking out, but the one's who can't look up from their Facebook feed to respond to "cash or credit" might be even worse.
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3. The Price Checker (Puts stuff back when they find out the price)
Please don't make us stand there while you send a cashier searching through the aisles to find out how much Pringles are this week. Just buy them. They're Pringles. They're delicious.
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4. The Headphones Wearer
Look, we all wish we were somewhere listening to Fifth Harmony, but take off those headphones for nine seconds so the cashier doesn't have to play a game of charades to tell you that you have to use the chip instead of the card swipe.
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5. The Self-Checkout Novice
You know, maybe the self-checkout isn't for everyone. If it takes you ten minutes to find the barcode on every single one of your items, it's probably just faster for all of us if you leave it to the professionals.
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6. The Stick Divider Slammer
What do you think I'm going to do, secretly have you buy my Oreos and then go home with nothing? What sort of bizarre game do you think we're playing here, stick slammer? Settle down.
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7. The Line Cutter
How has cutting in line not been declared an act of treason yet? You have to be an absolute monster to try and get away with a line cut...especially at the grocery store.
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8. The Place Holder
I don't care how quickly your husband can run back and grab a bag of frozen peas; you should've thought about them before you got in line, because none of us want to wait on you or your peas salad. That's gross anyway.
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9. The Express Lane Rebel
It CLEARLY says "10 Items of Less" and you're just gonna roll up in here with a grocery cart so full it looks like you're getting ready to feed a platoon? Just let me buy my single cabbage and get out of her, you goblin.
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10. Kevin McCallister
I'm just trying to get some rolls for Christmas dinner and this kid is going on and on about the American Dental Association. You've got bigger problems than plaque, kid. Your parents forgot about you TWICE.