Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted!
According to the Iowa City Press-Citizen, police arrested a 49-year-old Iowa City man early last Saturday morning after he allegedly “tried to trespass into a house while naked, and then defecated and urinated on the house’s doorstep.”
Thomas Larry Warren was easily identified as the culprit after he left his clothes, wallet, car keys and driver’s license behind on the doorstep along with good amount of urine and a fat shit. Police found his parked car outside his house, but they found him passed out naked on a patch of grass at another residence.
And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough for Warren, the rest of the story sure as shit is:
“Warren was arrested and book on charges of first degree harassment, an aggravated misdemeanor; public intoxication second offense, a serious misdemeanor; possession of a controlled substance, a serious misdemeanor; public intoxication, a simple misdemeanor; and trespassing, a simple misdemeanor.
Warren had been arrested on first degree harassment and child endangerment charges in June after police said he entered an 11-year-old girl’s home and said inappropriate things to her. Warren has also faced similar charges for inappropriately touching a 14-year-old girl who was a house-guest of Warren’s back in 2012, according Iowa Court records.”
In a related story, I feel really good about who I am today.
