This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets compiled for your viewing pleasure. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with yourself. They’ll think you’re hilarious, but inside you’ll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

This is what happens when you give a baby a vegan smoothie pic.twitter.com/tJ5u8hIBSP

— GOMD (@monkaaaay) September 6, 2016

This bird keeps itself in the air by sheer force of anger alone. pic.twitter.com/svaRdUhHkk

— Paul Tweedy (@Paul2eD) March 25, 2015

My 2yo said she is a grown up. I told her she isn’t, that she is a toddler. She replied, “No, I’m a grown up. I’m going to touch knives.”

— Jess (@jessokfine) June 29, 2015

if pangolins had a catch phrase it would be “ok I guess that’s fine” pic.twitter.com/5MR3HfR5Fu

— ｓｃｏｔｔ в (@snazzmania) August 23, 2016

Local Jaguars fan speaks out about the Jaguars draft picks. Do you think the Jaguars will #StealTheShow this year? pic.twitter.com/dCtVdyJeww

— News4JAX (@wjxt4) May 2, 2016

Good cop: Where’s the money?

Blind cop: *pounds fists on table* WHERE IS EVERYTHING

— Ally Gator (@notacroc) November 23, 2015

pic.twitter.com/sEe2Lgmlcl

— Pete Zadiliveri (@bloodhaiI) July 12, 2016

this sign is an emotional roller coaster pic.twitter.com/lxCxYe3fAj

— lil jon lovitz (@nbadag) September 11, 2016

Eric Trump wasn’t asked to be in this photo – he just quietly rose into it. pic.twitter.com/7G29VO6py2

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 3, 2016

i cannot BELIEVE i just wasted the last year of my life writing my 13-part series “giraffes: definitely one species” https://t.co/dZaICGShgV

— andy levy (@andylevy) September 8, 2016

Nigga is that a corndog holding up your bed ?? RT @slick__will: my homie over here caking on the phone pic.twitter.com/ujdgVapB5L

— Mr. Wesley (@NoBeeetch) May 6, 2015

Sorry for the blur. My camera never focus on the fake pic.twitter.com/UTRXT1SQ2A

— Jahnell Anya (@jahnellanya) May 31, 2016

respect to my dude that works so hard, he comes home with his hands looking like this so hers can look like this pic.twitter.com/2bYGpcuS21

— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) September 4, 2016

life comes at you fast pic.twitter.com/2vHEgjfEmK

— california mom (@no_talent_shan) September 11, 2016

[construction site]

STEVE: I’m hung over

BOB: stop using the walkie talkies to flirt with me, somebody’s gonna hear us, over

— rudy mustang (@roostermustache) February 20, 2016