This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They’ll think you’re hilarious, but inside you’ll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

Do we call macaroni and cheese “mac” because its short for macaroni? Or is it because “mac” is an acronym for macaroni and cheese?

— 6’4 (@OverlyLiked) March 4, 2016

Someone should teach stock photo hackers how computers work. pic.twitter.com/foVNgmWm0A

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) July 19, 2016

old ladies are insanely metal just say hi to any one of them for a 20min list of people that recently died

— Ceej (@ceejoyner) July 19, 2016

All the wrong people hate themselves.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 24, 2016

My mom took a selfie when my cat was dead as shit tounge out and all pic.twitter.com/MzGYbXWsxi

— House (@Alcohols_Finest) July 21, 2016

wolverine, but his claws are just extra fingers

— tomsauced (@trojansauce) November 15, 2015

Nintendo: Do you like games?
Me: Sure
Nintendo: Walking around?
Me: Not really
Nintendo: Trading rats for candy?
Me: Are you drunk

— Shawn (@online_shawn) July 22, 2016

me (checkin out at grocery store with 2 rotisserie chickens): hold up *i grab my phone although it didn’t ring* sure i’ll get 1 more chicken

— very handsome keith (@ghostkrogh) April 18, 2016

In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed

— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) March 27, 2016

Surprise your buddy by putting on clown makeup and dying in his attic.

— TRYIN T’BE FRIENDS (@Chumpstring) September 6, 2015

Why Pokemon Go Is Like Game Of Thrones: Please, Slate Told Me If I Wrote This I’d Get My Kids Back

— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) July 13, 2016

My dad just asked me if I can make my “famous avocado sauce” tomorrow. He is referring to guacamole.

— Sam Escobar (@myhairisblue) July 4, 2016

Niggas will slander you for riding the bus but when you cheat on ya girl what she gon do? Key the bus? Lol

— Yocolate Papí (@jabbjones) August 26, 2015

U like seafood?
“Yes”
*opens mouth full of food*
SEE FOOD LOL

U like SeaWorld?
“Not reall..”
*opens mouth full of sad orcas in captivity*

— garth (@garbagecoven) January 8, 2015

Putting a bell around a cow’s neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt.

— Piece (@Piecezilla) June 20, 2016

U ever see Se7en?

No but I saw The H8ful Eight. U see Nine?

No but I saw 10. U see Oceans11?

No but I saw Oceans12. U see Friday the 13th

— KattsDogma (@KattsDogma) July 20, 2016

The 6 year-old son of a colleague has just drawn this. He has offered no explanation for it. pic.twitter.com/VZaEqFEMot

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 15, 2016