Missouri Couple Gets Naked, Steals Lawnmower And Rides It Down The Street

July 21, 2016

Photo: BrianAJackson (Getty)

And it all happened in broad daylight.

While the majority of Missouri residents were driving to work last Tuesday morning, one Missouri woman allegedly decided to get buck naked, steal a riding lawnmower and sit on her nude lover’s lap while they took it for a joyride down a road just outside the city of Joplin.

Missouri Couple Gets Naked, Steals Lawnmower And Rides It Down The Street

According to 40-year-old Tanya Hooper and 55-year-old Larry Webster, they were skinny dipping in a nearby creek when another man jumped out of the woods and stole their clothes. Luckily, there was a working $5,000 orange lawnmower stashed in the woods for some reason, so they decided to ride that puppy back home instead of walking or calling for help.

According to police, that story is complete bullshit, and Jasper County Sheriff’s Office deputies said the couple will be charged with felony stealing because they took it from the owner’s yard and not the woods.

In a related story, purple hair on a 40-year-old woman has always been and should continue to be considered a huge red flag.

On second thought, I’m not really in that much of a hurry: Naked Florida Woman Arrested For Masturbating In Traffic

Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.