Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images
On second thought, I will wait in line for an actual cashier.
According to The Smoking Gun, a 23-year-old Cincinnati man was arrested for public indecency and disorderly conduct early Sunday morning after he allegedly stripped naked at his local Hyde Park Kroger grocery store and dropped a deuce on one of their self-checkout scanners.
Police said Colin Murphy smelled of booze, had slurred speech and was staggering when they arrived on the scene. But that was nothing compared to what went down earlier, as witnesses said Murphy stripped naked in front of a male employee and then shit on a “U-Scan it.”
Not even Murphy’s sweet mustache could save him from spending a night in jail before somebody posted his $2,000 bail. A pre-trial hearing was set for Wednesday, but in the meantime, he’ll have to shop elsewhere if he’s in the mood for Pabst and Doritos, as a judge has barred him from setting foot in the Kroger store.
No word if the self-checkout scanner politely asked Murphy to remove his last item from the scanner after he crapped on it, or if it just considered it close enough to a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos and asked him to continue shopping.
