Surprisingly, it wasn’t R. Kelly.
According to USA Today, a 27-year-old Oregon man named Jeff Rubin was sleeping for the majority of a JetBlue flight from Anchorage to Portland Friday morning, but woke up about 30 minutes before landing and urinated on passengers, seats and luggage.
The police report is one of the funniest damn things we’ve ever seen, unless of course you were on that flight and seated in the general vicinity of Rubin:
“He stood up and began urinating through the crack of the seat onto the passengers seated in front of him. At some point, Rubin lost his balance and he fell backwards and ‘urinated(d) upwards which got the passengers and seats next to him as well as some other passengers’ personal belongings.”
Surprisingly, everybody on the flight reportedly remained calm during the pissfest, and officers were waiting for Rubin when the plane landed. An officer boarded the plane to interview witnesses and at one point asked the passengers, “Who got peed on?”
Rubin spent five hours in jail and was charged with second-degree criminal mischief and offensive littering, which is apparently the politically correct term Oregonians use for any unwanted discharge from your penis.
It’s also not OK when Fido relieves himself on a plane: US Airways Made An Emergency Landing Because A Dog Pooped In The Aisle
