There’s A Serial Pooper On The Loose In Portland

Serial poopers are a lot like the Goo Goo Dolls: shitty.

According to Huffington Post, the residents of Portland, Oregon have nicknamed a man who has been dropping deuces “all over the southwest part of the city in the last few weeks” the “Portland Pooper.”


But it’s not just the fact that this guy can’t use a restroom like everybody else when he takes the Browns to the Super Bowl that’s creating such a big stink — it’s where he’s doing it that is really driving people nuts.

“It’s pretty weird because we’ve got a couple of schools and a park here,” one local resident said. “There are a lot of families around here and this is not the kind of thing you want to see.”

If the pooper is eventually caught, he’ll face charges of public indecency and offensive littering. But on the bright side, he’ll probably get his own reality show on The CW, as they’re apparently in the business of putting nothing but shit on their channel these days.

Maybe this guy in Ohio is his cousin or something: Ohio ‘Serial Pooper’ Has Defecated On 19 Cars

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