Some Guy Tracked His Masturbation Habits For Three Months

August 18, 2015

Thankfully, he used graphs and charts to record his habits instead of just updating his picture of a used White Sox shirt.

According to Barstool Sports, some dude known to the Imgur community as Karl Ryker jerked off a ton over a 93-day period and then analyzed it using charts and graphs before posting it to Imgur and Reddit for all to see.

And I mean this guy charted everything. From the duration of each crank to streaks and even favorite days of the week to wank it, you’re going to find it.

We’re not usually in the business of making assumptions, but we’re assuming that either this guy’s mother came home or his dad changed the channel so he could watch “Jeopardy!” exactly 3.1 percent of the time he was punching his clown.

And since all sugestions (sic) are welcome, might we suggest getting a job, son? I mean, at a certain point, it can no longer be classified as research.

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Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.