Is that a stolen vibrator worth 48 bucks in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
According to Gawker, a 44-year-old Illinois man was arrested last month after a suburban Chicago sex shop owner called police because she saw a “large bulge” in his pants and believed it was stolen merchandise.
Police confronted Christopher Hucko as he left Lover’s Lane in Orland Park, and one of the officers, Anthony Carone, asked him what he had stuffed in his pants.
“My penis,” Hucko replied. He then added that he had a cherry tattoo on his dick and asked Carone if he wanted to see it.
He did not.
The officers searched Hucko and found a Euphoria G Spot Delight vibrator in his pants. Hucko claimed he had no idea how it got in there, but the cops weren’t buying it. They arrested him and took him to a local holding cell, where he proceeded to strip naked and make derogatory comments about President Barack Obama.
Shortly thereafter, an officer asked Hucko to sign a Miranda rights consent form, which he did except that he signed it with “Obama is a criminal.”
Much to his chagrin, it was Hucko — not Obama — who was slapped with three misdemeanors on this day.
Speaking of embarrassing, this woman called 911 because she hadn’t been pleased in years: Florida Woman Calls 911 For Sex
