Louisiana Man Arrested Three Times Last Week For Masturbating Outside His House

It looks like we now know where Greg Guerin’s Internet connection works best.

According to The Times-Picayune, the 52-year-old Metairie man was recently arrested three times over the span of one week for masturbating in the driveway outside his house.

Yup, this guy owns a house:

Deputies from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office arrested Gregory Guerin Saturday afternoon after receiving a complaint from one of his neighbors that he was punching his clown in front of his house. And it was just in the nick of time too, as it completed the “week ‘o masturbation” hat trick for Guerin.

Seven days earlier, somebody called 911 after they saw Guerin jerking it in his driveway. And it wasn’t like the witness had to go out of his or her way to get a full view of happy time, as Guerin reportedly “took a seat in a chair in the driveway and began masturbating in full view of the public.”

Then on Wednesday, a neighbor spotted Guerin cranking one out under his carport. And just like his prior incident, he made no attempt to conceal his efforts.

Geez. Just think: Odds are this guy is somebody’s uncle.

Hey, at least he wasn’t jerking off a horse: Oregon Man Busted Playing With Himself While Masturbating A Horse At The Same Time

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