21 Hilarious Tweets for Every Dog

As rewarding as it is to have a dog, sometimes they can drive you completely nuts. Sure you get to love and pet them, but you’re constantly taking them outside to use the bathroom and if you plan on going out after work, the only thing you can think about is your poor dog sitting there patiently waiting for you to get home. Some of the funniest people on the Internet feel the exact same way and have posted some hilarious tweets about it. Here are 21 of the funniest we could find.

Most of being a dog owner is yelling WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH

— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) May 31, 2015

I’m looking to adopt a dog that’s *just* deformed enough to be cute and make me millions on Instagram. What can I say, I’m a good person.

— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) May 27, 2015

I let my sister’s dog kiss my face but now he’s acting all distant and texted me that he “doesn’t want this to turn into something serious.”

— Bez (@Bez) January 17, 2012

Just met an adult named Cody who wasn’t a golden retriever

— Nikki Walter (@TurboGrandma) January 25, 2013

If you see a dog locked in the back seat of a car, do something. Break the window and put another dog in there. He’s probably super bored

— Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson) May 25, 2015

My questionnaire for dogs: 1. Do you like to get pet 2. Who is a good boy 3. Is it you

— jonnifer lopez (@senderblock23) August 2, 2013

I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won’t find them.

— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) July 29, 2013

Stop asking your dog if he or she knows who is a good dog. My dog & I have established that she is the good dog. Your questions confuse her.

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) May 28, 2015

Yeah, I guess you could say I “rescued” my dog. I did stop him right before he was gonna start his own podcast

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 31, 2015

“God, I hope she likes me.” – me preparing to meet a dog

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 1, 2015

The tinier the dog, the crazier the lady.

— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) April 13, 2014

DOG: I think that job interview went well! *looks in mirror and sees ear was inside-out the whole time* Son of a

— Ray (@SirEviscerate) May 20, 2015

Nobody has it worse than dogs in a vegan household.

— Matt Monroe (@heymonroe) January 17, 2014

For animals with an “amazing sense of smell” dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing “Whoops, these are turds”

— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) May 24, 2013

I’m sorry I used your dog as a reference.

— MerGyver (@HoneyWooWoo) January 23, 2015

“Who ARE you?” “Well, I suppose I’m a big baby boy. The biggest baby boy in the world” – Somebody interviewing my dog

— rory (@rorynotroy) December 3, 2011

Sorry I’m late I saw a puppy and stopped to pet it for 11 hours

— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) October 10, 2014

murder she wrote except it’s a dog a blue dog who is always finding clues and they’re blue’s clues im talking about blue’s clues

— madeleine (@madeleinedoux) February 2, 2015

When I’m walking around holding a bag of my dog’s poop it’s really hard to tell who’s the owner and who’s just being owned.

— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) May 24, 2015