That’s not a hat trick to be proud of, kid.
According to FOX 19, an “aggressive and sexually threatening” 17-year-old boy is in deep shit after he broke into a Hamilton Township residence last month while he was butt naked.
Around 10:20 p.m. on May 9, a man and his wife called 911 to report that there was a naked teen who was “probably on something” running around and attempting to break into their house. Things quickly escalated when the teen approached the man’s wife and “attempted to hurt her by grabbing her around the neck.”
The man grabbed his shotgun and warned the teen to stay back if he didn’t want to get shot, but when he didn’t listen, well, he got shot in the back.
Unfortunately, the shotgun round also caught the man’s wife in her shoulder and eye. Also unfortunate for the couple? You guessed it: The naked teen began “running himself into walls” before stopping on their porch to masturbate.
Police quickly figured out the boy was still “highly sexualized” when they arrived because he grabbed one officer by his balls. The teen was eventually apprehended and charged with attempted burglary, attempted rape, assault on a police officer and public indecency, none of which look good on a college resume.
Well, unless you’re trying to get into Florida State.
Maybe he learned it from watching his favorite horse jockey: Pennsylvania Horse Jockey Shot After Masturbating on Woman’s Porch
