Trio of Missouri Idiots Stole Family’s Urn Because They Thought It Held Cocaine

Even when he’s ground into a fine white powder, rarely will grandpa get you high.

According to The Smoking Gun, three Missouri teenagers are in serious trouble after breaking into a St. Peters residence and making off with money, jewelry, electronics, prescription drugs and a wooden urn box they thought was hiding the homeowner’s stash of blow.

Police said 17-year-old Devin Gesell confessed to the crime, saying he was the lookout while the other two younger thieves did the hard part. The three of them drove off with $825 in cash and other items worth over $2,000.

During the teens’ getaway, one of them decided to taste what he thought was a sweet haul of cocaine and quickly realized it was something else. Unfortunately for the homeowner, the perps threw the remains of his father out the window of the getaway car, which I guess if you’re looking at things with a “glass half-full” mentality, is better than him getting snorted by the thieves.

This clown thought his wife stealing his nose candy actually classified as an emergency: Ohio Man Called 911 Because He Thought His Wife Stole HIs Cocaine

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