The Most Hilarious Hallmark Fails

Greeting card writers have lots of accountability; imagine spending eight hours a day putting to words the emotions, hopes and dreams of the human race – the innermost thoughts and wishes they can’t actually express themselves – in the space of a tweet, and paired with stock art! Unnerving.

As such, it’s only fitting that we take a day each year to recognize their hard work, and need for affection, on National Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day this week. That said, we’d be remiss not to call into question the authors of the Hallmark fails below.

The Pick-Me-Up

A compliment means so much more when it comes from a Dachshund sitting in a suggestive way on the lap of a hunky male model.

For the Unisex Baby

Let’s be real: All babies look the same anyway.

For Dads (in Colorado and Washington State)

Dad, I can explain. But let me do it in a cheerful, painless way by giving you this colorful Easter-themed greeting card that I may or may not have purchased after eating a questionable brownie.

For New Relationships

You should always ask first. It’s the polite thing to do.

For Shut-Ins and Folks Featured on “Hoarders: Buried Alive”

Cat moms need to feel loved on Mother’s Day, too-even if they have to buy this card themselves.

For Ineffective Educators

Maybe this was done on purpose, since teachers love to correct spelling mistakes.

For Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler

Finally, a greeting card for pedophiles!

From Your Appreciative Lady

Confession: It wasn’t her gorgeous smile that won you over.

TRENDING

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