Some guys get a new haircut or hit the gym in an effort to get women to notice them. Others take the road less traveled and ejaculate in their coworker’s cup of Maxwell House.
According to Huffington Post, John Lind faces up to one year in prison as well as a $4,500 fine after he admitted Thursday to unloading his load into a female coworker’s cup of coffee twice within the last six months.
Police were called to Beisswenger’s Hardware in New Brighton on August 26 after a female employee complained she caught Lind standing near her desk with his hands near his naughty parts. She said Lind looked like a “deer in headlights” and left the room.
The employee also told police she noticed a strong odor that resembled urine, but she thought it was just spoiled milk in her coffee. She quickly changed her mind after noticing “a large amount of clear liquid on top of her desk” and her hair scrunchie soaked in it.
Confronted by police, Lind admitted that he had indeed ejaculated in her coffee and all over her desk because he liked her.
No word yet if Folgers is planning on changing their slogan to “The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup (and not semen).”
