Man Gets Running Vibrator Lodged in His Large Intestine

“Things got out of control.”

No shit.

According to Huffington Post, some poor bastard recently paid a visit to an emergency room complaining of severe constipation. Well, it turns out the reason this guy couldn’t drop a deuce was because he had his wife’s vibrator blocking up his large intestine. Oh, and it was still running.

After an X-ray clearly showed an object lodged inside his large intestine, E.R. nurse Stevey Pope said the man finally came clean about what it was, and it marked the first time Pope had ever seen a running vibrator stuck inside a patient.

The man was too embarrassed to divulge any more information as to how it got that far up him, but his wife was a little more of an open book.

“The wife finally told us that they had been trying to be adventurous and they kind of used the vibrator,” Pope told TLC on what is our new favorite show called Sex Sent Me To The E.R. “Things got out of control and the vibrator got lost inside of him.

Doctors were able to remove the vibrator without killing the man. No word as to whether or not they gave it back to the couple, but we’re pretty sure it’s back to the boring old missionary position for them. Well, at least until they get new batteries, anyway.

Here’s something that’s almost as gross as that: Barbara Walters Has a Vibrator Named ‘Selfie’

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