Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
A woman who dropped a deuce inside a St. Lucie County Courthouse elevator is now facing a misdemeanor charge of “health safety injurious to health” after authorities identified her from surveillance camera footage.
According to TCPalm, Patricia Ann Jamison entered the courthouse elevator on March 7 from the first floor, took it up just one floor and began walking to the family division. She then turned around, got back in the elevator, and appeared to “pull her pants down and back up toward the interior elevator buttons consistent with someone using the bathroom” before the doors closed.
Jamison allegedly took the elevator back down to the first floor and could be seen exiting while “fixing her pants and pulling her shirt out of her pants as if she pulled her pants up over her shirt.”
Police were able to identify Jamison rather easily thanks to the pooper wearing zebra-striped pants and then walking into the public defender’s office, where she signed her name in the courthouse log (haha) book.
While this story begs at least a dozen questions, we’ll go ahead and ask the obvious one: “Who in the hell can pinch a loaf in the time it takes to ride the elevator just one floor?”
More fecal fun: Man Takes Dump in Background of Instructional Workout Video
