Somebody Is Finally Offering Penis Insurance

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ccording to a spokeswoman at UNDZ, an underwear company based in Montreal, 16,000 men injure their pork swords or accidentally become separated from them each year.

That’s why they are now offering $50,000 penis insurance policies to customers who purchase at least three pairs of UNDZ underwear from their company website.

UNDZ founder Bernard Dore said it was “absurd” a man could get insurance for things like cars, houses and animals but not his wanker, so he decided to make it possible for men to back their “most important asset” with a Lloyd’s of London insurance policy that will be paid out if a guy’s love stick becomes detached from his body.

But before you go searching for Lorena Bobbitt’s Match.com profile, there are a few stipulations. For starters, if she whacks that tallywacker off your body with a machete or butter knife, you don’t collect. And before you decide to go all Amanda Lepore on us, you should know that won’t net your fifty grand either.

According to an UNDZ official, Anderson Cooper, Conan O’Brien, Justin Bieber and Emeril Lagasse have all had their hogs insured. If they’re looking to make an even bigger statement, they might want to try securing Peter North next.

(via Huffington Post)

We’re unsure if this is covered: Dude Claims He Burned His Penis Making Love to Domino’s Pizza

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