‘The Huntsman: Winter’s War’ Review | Snow White’s Man’s Burden

This may be difficult for studio executives to accept, but just because one movie made money, that doesn’t mean audiences actually want another one. Heck, sometimes even the filmmakers aren’t convinced. You can tell that the people behind The Huntsman: Winter’s War are flailing in the deep end, because not only were they forced to make a sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman – a film that left behind no memories whatsoever, except the vague recollection that Charlize Theron was pretty good in it – but they also have to pretend that that first movie never existed in the first place.

Case in point, Snow White herself. She was a pretty big deal in the first film. She was in the title. She led an army. She defeated an evil queen. She took control of an entire kingdom. In The Huntsman: Winter’s War not only is she only in one shot but it’s clearly a body double, and she has gone certifiably insane. Now her doltish husband has to run the kingdom without her. What was the point, exactly, of going through all that rigmarole in the first place if the entire plot was just going to be ignored the very next proverbial day?

Universal Pictures

The point, dear readers, is to capitalize on a name. And that name isn’t “Snow White,” it’s “The Huntsman” (Chris Hemsworth), a dashing hero of generic proportions who is tasked this time with recovering a missing magic mirror. Along the way he teams up with dwarves and reunites with his long-lost wife, Sara (Jessica Chastain). We are told that their love for each other is still pure and undying, because The Huntsman remained faithful to Sara her seven years. And we are also expected to completely forget that in the previous film he fell in love with another woman so hard that when he kissed her it cured death. That’s “faithful” in loins only, Huntsman. That’s pretty trifling.

Meanwhile, Queen Freya (Emily Blunt) is a literal ice queen who has taken over a nation of her own using magic freezing powers. She has also outlawed “love,” which is supposed to be a great tragedy but it just makes her act like a Care Bears villain who’s gotten lost and wandered onto the wrong soundstage. Freya schemes to steal the magic mirror, which belonged to her wicked sister Ravenna (Charlize Theron), who – in a twist so shocking they put it on the poster – has also been alive this whole time. 

Universal Pictures

The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a pretty stupid movie, based on a pretty stupid premise, bustling with actors who each look like they only showed up because someone said they’d be able take Colleen Atwood’s costumes home with them. It is a movie at war with itself, because as a unique production – free from the heavy baggage of the previous film – it might have been a halfway decent fantasy adventure. Sure, it’s no Conan the Barbarian but Conan the Destroyer? Maybe. Just maybe.

Sadly, the constant reminders that The Huntsman takes place in a world where the first film is supposed to matter, in a story that depends entirely on pretending it doesn’t, leaves the film feeling scatterbrained and pointless. It’s a film that desperately didn’t want to exist, that struggled to break free of the shackles of this franchise, and failed miserably.

So if you want to have a nice day, don’t have an ice day: see something else instead.

William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved, Rapid Reviews and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.

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