We know your recent spending habits during this lovely quarantine season have been absolutely insane, but most of the transactions haven’t been worth their weight in salt. Look at the facts, you’ve made some questionable art purchases, collected an offensive supply of metal water bottles (even though you use the same one daily), and decided to take a chance on whatever the hell this is. And yet, none of these things are as useful as, say, a bidet might be. Don’t worry, we got you, because the Slim Zero Bidet Seat is the crème de la crème of bathroom accessories and the only thing you need to make sure you’ve got that all-around clean.
Ready for a clean butt? Cool, because we’re gonna give you one (we mean, WE’RE not gonna give it to you but, you know what, never mind). With a dual nozzle system for a really, really deep clean, this bidet brings you that European wash at a price much cheaper than a plane ticket to get the authentic thing. The room temp water comes at you with a very nurturing spritz that says “I’m here for you,” but also, “We’re glad you called reinforcements, you really live like this?”
Using this bad boy is easy, just push or pull the side lever to activate the cleaning mode of your choice and you’re on your way to fresh tushy town. The best part is actually a little surprise for nocturnal refreshers–a night light that illuminates the way in the wee hours to make sure you find your new best friend just fine. The purchase really pays for itself when you think about how much water you’re saving in the shower attempting to reach those, uh, hard-to-reach places by yourself.
Get the Slim Zero Bidet Seat for $99.99 (Reg. $129).
Prices subject to change.
