One of the most beautiful by-products of the legalization of marijuana is being able to possess (and discreetly consume) up to 28.5 grams of the reefer. Because of this, Los Angeles International Airport updated its policy to reflect the laws so anyone over the age of 21 can fly with weed. Yes, now you can bring drugs to unpleasant things like boring work trips or returning to your horrible life after a visit to the City of Angels. Once you touch down in another pot-unfriendly airport, however, you have illegal drugs on you. Although it’s unlikely the Caliva Dogwalker Prerolls and Kiva Petra Mints you packed would get you caught, it’s not going to assuage your mid-flight panic either. Fasten your safety belts and put your seat in its upright position. This is the honest timeline for traveling with legal weed for the first time ever.
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How many milligrams of THC will it take to make you start sweatin’ like you’re smuggling real drugs? Let us know your breaking point in the comments!
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Honest Timeline Paranoid Flying Legal Weed
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1.5 Hours Before Takeoff
You arrive at LAX after spending 2 hours in traffic getting talk-to-God high. The friend that gives you a ride is a true patriot. When you exit their car you tell them that you love them even though you don't.
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1 Hour Before Your Flight
You were too high to even think while going through security. It was easy. A little too easy. You remain chill, even though your anxiety is like, "Bro, bro. You have legal weed in your carry-on!"
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5 Minutes After Boarding Your Flight
You did it. You've successfully brought drugs on a plane. It's time to celebrate.
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30 Minutes After Takeoff
The older white lady seated next to you leans over and asks, "What's that smell?" You pretend to be in a coma but wonder if that smell is you and the weed you're carrying.
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1 Hour Into Your Flight
The smell was actually the man's feet in the row behind you. Although you feel some sense of relief, you're somehow more paranoid than ever. WTF?!
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2 Hours Into Your Flight
You're still convinced the woman next to you is a narc. She touches your hand and says she's also afraid of flying, but has Jesus with her always. You avoid hearing her sermon by going to the bathroom. Inside, you make the big boy decision to return to your seat because the pilot announces you'll be landing shortly.
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30 Seconds After Landing
Everyone stands up like assholes. None of them ever shout that they're a Federal Air Marshal and tackle you. Success.
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1 Hour After Leaving The Airport
You open your carry-on and decide to get high because you're the boss. The boss who's also a grade-A legal drug mule.
