FIFA Admits It’s Taken Bribes For Years Then Shamelessly Asks for a Refund

Image Credit: Harold Cunningham / Getty Images

FIFA has finally admitted that officials in the organisation have accepted bribes for years, but what with FIFA being FIFA, they’ve actually asked US prosecutors to give them their money back.

Following the corruption scandal that rocked the football governing body last year, which saw former FIFA president and ballsack-turned-human man Sepp Blatter suspended by them for six years following a “disloyal payment”, investigations into the organisation have continued as new president Gianni Infantino looks to reform and improve its reputation. The first step, then, appears to be admitting wrongdoing, then politely asking for the money that they lost as a result of this wrongdoing back.

In a claim submitted to the US Attorney’s Office in New York, FIFA pointed out how as whole it wasn’t corrupt, but that individuals within it were. This statement is undermined somewhat by the fact that the president of the entire organisation was forced out of office as a result of the scandal, which is about as damning an indictment of them as you can get. A president isn’t an “individual working within a company” – an individual working within a company would be Sharon in Accounts or George in I.T. A president’s a pretty important individual in a company. In fact, s/he’s the most important individual, hence the title “president”. 

Sepp Blatter pictured in his element; surrounded by money that shouldn’t be his. (Image Credit: Fabrice Coffrini / Getty Images)

But regardless, FIFA still believes that they’re entitled to a partial refund of the $190 million seized from officials who pleaded guilty in the corruption case, asking for $28.2 million for years of payments, including bonuses, flights and daily expenses handed to officials it now deems corrupt, alongside $10 million for bribes accepted by former executive committed members in order for them to vote for South Africa as the 2010 World Cup host. They’re also looking for a substantial payment to cover the cost of their legal bills for the US and Swiss trials against them.

However, the most utterly shameless request made on behalf of FIFA is them actively seeking damages for “harm to its reputation”. According to a report from USA Today, FIFA’s lawyers stated: “FIFA has become notable for the defendants’ bribery and corruption, not its many good works. FIFA is entitled to restitution for this harm to its business relationships, reputation and intangible property.” Who exactly does FIFA believe caused this dent in their reputation? How on Earth can they possibly suggest that over 20 years of sustained corruption performed by their highest ranking members is the fault of anyone but themselves? And who exactly are they seeking damages from? US prosecutors for taking a look at their corruption, pointing at it and saying “yep, that’s definitely some good old-fashioned corruption, right there”? 

If FIFA is successful in all of its claims, it will be rewarded over $30 million for basically admitting that they irreparably altered the course of global professional football for nearly 30 years for their own financial gain, but now some people are saying some really mean things about them as a result of their own actions. Unfortunately for FIFA they’ll probably want to brace themselves, as something tells me that people are going to get a lot meaner.

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