If there’s two things we love here at Crave Online Australia, it’s puns and Triple J, so consider us JAZZED AS ALL HELL for tomorrow morning’s special edition of the breakfast program, titled Matt and aSEXcercise. Promising a super sexy playlist, awkward sex stories and some good ol’ fashion sex-chat, it’s sure to be three hours of radio!
After past memorable event radio moments as Matt and Alex-cercise, Good Az Friday and the Triple J-ump Off, we thought we’d lend a hand to the lads and offer up some more potential pun-based ideas for upcoming specials. You’re welcome boys, please send a sliver of your ludicrous ABC funding to PO BOX 3311 Marrickville, NSW. Cheers.
1. Matt and AleXXX
Yeah, sex is pretty cool, but you know what the kids are really into these days? Porn! I just googled some and it’s very, very good. You guys could talk about porn all morning and play porn soundtracks or something IDK.
2. Matt and Quebec-sercise
If there’s one French-speaking Canadian province that doesn’t get enough airtime on government-funded Australian youth radio, it’s definitely Quebec. Or Manitoba… No, Quebec. Definitely Quebec. Arcade Fire have enough songs to cover the whole morning, surely. There. Done.
3. Cravat and Alex
Matt has to wear a cravat all morning, which is a great visual prank which you can tweet a picture of or something. Periscope it! Probs, don’t mention Masterchef at all because I applied for an ABC job once and had to read the guidelines and that’s a big no-no, you guys should know better then to cross-promote a commercial reality cooking show, shame on you.
“It’s like you’ve got a tune-rag, but around your neck!”
4. Matt and Alex-orcism
Ok, this one is ripe for potential. Think of all the exorcisms you could conduct, live on air! Exorcise whatever demon is causing Alt-J’s lead singer to sound like that. Exorcise Buzzfeed from the internet to avoid anymore Taylor Swift Hottest 100 scandals, I don’t really know how it works, ask Lorde, she looks like she would.
5. Pratt and Alex
I just really like Chris Pratt, can you get him on the show? Thanks.
6. Matt and aHEXercise
“Double, double toil and trouble!” is something you could say during Matt and aHEXcercise, where you spend the morning doing some spells and attempting to converse with the dead via a Ouija board. What’s the ghost of Gough Whitlam listening to in heaven? Your listeners want to know!
Sex Cauldron? I thought they shut that place down.
7. Matt and aFLEXercise
This is just the exercise one again but with a new name to keep your #brand fresh.
8. Matt and Malcom X-ercise
Is there any better combination then sick as indie tunes and the latest EDM bangers with erudite, in-depth analysis of the life and times of controversial human rights activist Malcolm X? MMMMMmmm a breakfast radio delight! I’m sure Tom Tilley is free to help out. That guy knows everything!
9. Mathias Cormann and Alex
Blaze up a fresh cigar and let’s get fiscal with it! What’s the finance minister’s fav fresh new tunes he likes to listen to as he systematically erodes the welfare system for those in need. Get him to read the weather in that sexy Belgium accent. “Cormann” kinda sounds like someone saying “Come on” in a funny way, use that!
Imagine him saying “pack her up boys”, omg so good!
