Things All Guys Should Know About Cars

Whether they’re growing beards, sampling Scotch or trying their hands at survival camping, there seems to be a trend of young men struggling to seize back some semblance of lost masculinity. It’s not their fault that they lost a bit of testosterone. Being a man is frowned upon in modern society as unsophisticated, judgmental, and insensitive. The ever-growing nanny state that insists guys wear dorky bicycle helmets and drive 55 lest their speed be automatically reported to the po-po creates a boring, bubble wrapped world no man should enjoy. And, fidgeting with smartphones and Bluetooth headsets make carrying oneself with dignity difficult. We aim to aid this state with a list of things all guys should know about cars.

Related: Get to Know Your Pistons at Valvoline Engine School

It’s worth it to reclaim at least some traditional manhood because, though they might deny it to appear uber-evolved, women still long for a man — a proper man — because they possess an instinct to be taken care of in a very complicated and often dangerous world. There is one, quick all-purpose passport to unquestioned masculinity – cars and auto maintenance. Think about it. How many Brooklyn-bound, organic Chai sucking hipsters would look natural twisting a dirty socket wrench? (And, no – that’s not code for anything.) If you know how to maintain or even fix a car, it doesn’t matter if you secretly watch Real Housewives of the Wisconsin Dells or whatever. You will be a man, my son. To get you started here is a list of the 10 Things All Guys Should Know about Maintaining Their Car. Some points are obvious. Some are simple. Some require some effort and education. But, not only does mastering each of them make you tougher, they really do make your automotive life easier.

Things All Guys Should Know About Cars

Know why and how a car does what it does. Maintaining or fixing a car is significantly easier if you know why and how a car shifts gear, accelerates or suffers engine knocking. You should be able to tall anyone what the phrase “Suck. Squeeze. Bang. Blow…” means without giggling.
Build and organize a decent tool collection. Every guy should have a good set of socket wrenches, screwdrivers, lighting sources, etc. While learning to fix your car, you shouldn’t have to waste time rushing to Menard’s or wherever to pick up a crescent wrench. You don’t need every bang and whistle a professional mechanic might have, but a man is only as good as his tools.
Clean your engine bay. There are products that will help with this from 3M and other manufacturers. They often work as simply as “Spray on, hose off.” You don’t need Mr. Miyagi around to show you how to do that. A clean engine bay doesn’t necessarily guarantee a fully functioning engine, but it does make locating parts and components easier.
Learn all of your car’s functions. Nothing makes you look sillier than admitting you don’t know what BSM means or how to turn it on in your ride. No matter how advanced your auto might be, take time to read the manual and learn all of its functions and abilities. After all, you paid for everything your car is and does.
Know how to check and top off all fluids. Pulling a dipstick and checking your oil amount and clarity is an obvious car maintenance essential. But, there are other essential fluids in any engine. From brakes to power steering to coolant, they all need to be maintained and can be drained or refilled without the aid of a mechanic.
Learn to change your own oil. You knew this was coming. If you have the right tools and a little patience, you really can learn how to perform this basic automotive task. It saves you money over the long haul, too. Note: Stick to the 3,000 mile oil change rule, even if you hear modern cars can go twice as long. By keeping clean oil in engines (especially the little turbo-charged four cylinders we’re seeing so much of these days), today’s rides can easily run past, 100,000 miles.
Always check the fuses first. A lot of car glitches can be fixed by simply changing a fuse, especially anything to do with the lighting or dash displays. Swapping out a $0.50 fuse can sometimes save you the big money of a mechanic running a diagnostic. That car manual you’re supposed to have read already will have a box diagram in it to tell what car functions are tied into which fuse.
Clean your fuel system. There are plenty of bottled gas treatments and engine cleaners. Every couple of months, brim your tank and pour a bottle into the mix. Run it right down close to empty before you refill. That should remove engine particles and blow the fuel injectors clean. Like in your own body, everything inside an engine runs better if it’s purified. You can also burn particles out of an engine by taking a long trip that keeps the motor humming for hundreds of miles.
Monitor your tire pressure. Over or under-inflated tires are unsafe and ruin fuel economy. You need to be aware of your tire pressure and be able to check it with either analog or electronic gauges. Usually, you’re looking at 35 PSI. No, I’m not going to tell you what that stands for, either.
Know how to change a tire. Seriously. C’mon.