The Big List: Which States Have The Longest Sex?

Time to make a surprisingly good movie based on a toy franchise, release it to critical acclaim and box office success, watch inevitably as Hollywood tries and fails to replicate your “secret formula” (aka quality storytelling, casting and directing), then check out these links!

Emergency Crews Attempt To Rescue Olympic Figure Skater Who Fell Through Ice (The Onion)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/emergency-crews-attempt-to-rescue-olympic-figure-s,35313/

At least she didn’t fall through the floor of her hotel room.

What All 32 NFL Teams Said About Michael Sam’s Coming Out

http://thinkprogress.org/sports/2014/02/20/3311171/32-nfl-teams-said-michael-sams-coming/

See if any of the team’s PR departments fumbled this one…

How Long Americans Last In Bed, State By State

http://www.salon.com/2014/02/20/how_long_americans_last_in_bed_state_by_state_partner/

California: At Least We’re Not Nevada!

8 New Relationship Statuses That Need To Be On Facebook

http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6953700/8-new-relationship-statuses-that-need-to-be-on-facebook

Isn’t it… bromantic?

5 Lessons Hollywood Should Learn From The LEGO Movie (And 5 Ways They’ll Miss The Point)

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/02/5_lessons_hollywood_studios_should_learn_from_the.php

Everything is awesome! (Except the movies Hollywood usually makes.)

That’s all for this this Olympic edition of The Big List!

Geoffrey Golden is a bestselling author and Editor-in-Chief of The Devastator comedy magazine.