KISS has put its name on everything from caskets to condoms, so it’s not a stretch of the imagination to believe that the band is buying its very own arena football team. The team, The L.A. KISS, will sport special-made KISS-themed helmets, and season ticket holders will have access to a private concert by their team’s owners. No word yet on whether cheerleader tryouts will include tongue measurements, but shoulder pads with spikes would be awesome.
In a statement, KISS frontman and ultimate merch shill Gene Simmons said: “As a fast-paced, high-action band, this partnership with the AFL was an obvious fit for us” – why that is, is anyone’s guess. He promises the same “thrilling, heart-pounding action” on the field as at a KISS show, which makes no sense whatsoever.
KISS guitarist Paul Stanley said the band chose to work with the AFL rather than the NFL, because they weren’t interested in “corporate sport” promotion – and not because the NFL would laugh their silly clown-makeup asses out of the room at the idea of having a KISS team play in their league.
“The whole idea of an alternative to what has perhaps become a corporate sport is very intriguing, and resonates with us,” Stanley explained. “We’ve always tried to be a band that relates to everybody, and the AFL is built on that whole premise.”
Photo: Jim Dyson/Getty Images
