Time to become a famous Dubstep DJ, grow your hair really long, have a birthday party, lean over the birthday cake to blow out the candles, feel something hot, realize it’s totally your own hair on fire, quickly put it out, realize that death by birthday candle is maybe the most ironic death of all and check out these links!
25 Amazing, Official White House Petitions
http://www.buzzfeed.com/bennyjohnson/25-amazing-official-white-house-petitions
We, the people, are pretty embarrassing.
The Truth About Guns And Video Games
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-truth-about-guns-video-games/
Can you handle the truth? Or rather, can you resist the temptation to shoot it up with a realistic MP7?
Skrillex Sets Hair On Fire In Birthday Candle Disaster
http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/17/skrillex-hair-fire-birthday-hollywood-video/
The roots, the roots, the roots are on fire.
KUBoobs Inspires College #Boobment
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/16/kuboobs-boobment_n_2490599.html
Go Team Whoa!
The Greatest Science Fiction Porn Movies of All-Time (1961-1991)
http://io9.com/5971565/the-greatest-science-fiction-porn-movies-of-all-time-1961+1991-%5Bnsfw%5D
The Load Warrior, Sex Trek: The Next Penetration, and other timeless classics.
That’s all for this officially protesting edition of The Big List.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!
