Johnny Depp Cologne Sales Soar Following Defamation Trial Verdict, Sauvage Officially the New Axe Body Spray

What does a modern misogynist smell like? If news reports are any indication, it’s Sauvage, the cologne Johnny Depp has repped for Dior since 2015.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the biggest celebrity trial of the decade recently came to a close. We’re talking, of course, about the defamation lawsuit Depp brought against his ex-wife, Amber Heard. A very ignorant jury awarded Depp $15 million and, as a consolation prize, we suppose, $2 million to Heard.

We won’t go into the nitty-gritty details of why regular folk should give AF about all this (because we already did that here) but the gist of the trial’s outcome is that women shouldn’t bother coming forward with allegations of intimate partner violence because not only will they not be believed, they will be raked over the coals, memeified, and made into offensive hashtags that trend on Twitter.

Oh, and free speech is on its deathbed too, at least for survivors of abuse, because they can’t even identify themselves as such in op-eds that don’t name the men that terrorized them. (Anyone ever wonder why Depp assumed he was the anonymous bad guy? Hmm…) Even worse, the script is getting flipped and making women the perpetrators of violence in relationships, because, you know, statistically the most dangerous person in a man’s life is a woman. Scores of dudes are murdered each year by their female partners despite men having pretty much every imaginable advantage, from their physical stature to living in a patriarchal society.

We jest. And we digress.

Now onto the business of celebrity fragrances, the only thing that stinks more than the verdict in this case. Depp fans have apparently been buying up tons of Sauvage in support of him, because nothing says “I’m a douchebag, too!” like wearing your favorite has-been actor’s signature scent. Move over, Axe Body Spray, because A-holes are stanning a whole new brand.

I went to Ulta to get some @Dior Sauvage to support #JohnnyDeppIsInnocent apparently I am not the only one. Maybe #Poohréal, sorry, @LOrealParisUSA should listen up. #justiceforjohnydepp #JohnnyDeppVsAmberHeard #AmberHeardlsApsychopath pic.twitter.com/uX2XcoLBsg

— Keanna (@keanna_bunch) May 26, 2022

The Wall Street Journal reports that Sauvage “is currently the best-selling men’s cologne on both Sephora.com and Ulta.com—two of the internet’s largest beauty retailers.”

At least one good thing has come out of this shitshow otherwise known as our justice system: if male Johnny Depp supporters wear Sauvage as religiously as they claim they will, women will be able to smell those dudes coming from a mile away and can stay the hell away from them. Thanks for that, Johnny!

Cover Photo: Dior