When it comes to Hollywood secrets, there’s no unexploded bombshell bigger than the saga of Mike Myers. The movie star who allegedly hit it big in 1989 when he joined the cast of SNL has gone on to become a box office legend with over $4 billion in global receipts (despite never publicly releasing a film around Halloween). But the man famous for championing hungry Scotsman and animated trolls alike has been living a double life the entire time.
It turns out Mike, born Michael John Myers to British immigrants who moved to Canada after WWII, really began his acting career at the age of two, appearing in local commercials around Scarborough Ontario. In 1977, by the time he was 16, Mike was on his way to stardom when he mysteriously shortened his screen name after the hit movie Halloween terrified audiences across North America and drew unwanted attention to the Scarborough Boogeyman. Thus began the biggest cover-up in Hollywood history.
Today, after witnessing the non-stop slaughter-fest that is Halloween Kills, we ask ourselves when will the killing stop? The answer: Only when the secret link is finally revealed between the Hollywood slasher and his playboy counterpart known simply as Mike. Putting our own lives in danger, we felt it was our duty to prove this connection once and for all for the good of Jamie Lee Curtis acquaintances everywhere. Tell our wife and kids we love them.
Cover Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin and Ron Galella, Ltd. (Getty Images)
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Mike Myers Halloween Kills 2021
-
Alter Egos
Few know that Mike isn't actually a character actor, but a man suffering from a rare multiple personality disorder. From the Love Guru to Austin Powers, Mike becomes a different person every couple of days, having no recollection of the transformation or missing time during those periods. And as we all know, some of his alter egos are pure evil.
-
'So I Married An Axe Murderer'
It's telling that in the one movie Mike plays himself, he's worried about his girlfriend being a serial killer. Talk about projecting your guilt onto someone else.
-
The 'Baby Driver' Incident
Obviously, we're not the only ones to have made the connection. Open your eyes people.
-
He Never Talks About It
There's been an elephant in the room for 40 years, but Mike refuses to acknowledge it. Isn't it suspicious that he's never publicly spoken about the connection? Like, never.
-
He's Canadian
Fellow Canadians know exactly what we mean by this. For the rest of us, we're through the looking glass now, guys.
-
He's Superhuman
Other than Chuck Norris and Andre the Giant, Mike Myers is the only actor with actual superhuman strength. The kind that a demonic serial killer would need to keep up one of the most prolific sprees in modern history. Coincidence?
-
Both Lurk Behind Bushes
This is where it gets really crazy. Mike's house is full of more hedges than any estate in the country. All so he can hide behind them and scare the gardener on Tuesdays. True story.
-
Both Are Movie Stars
There are only 10,000 movie stars in the world. Do you really think it's just a fluke that both Myers are in that club?
-
Same Age
Mike was born in 1963. The first Halloween movie came out in 1978. If you ask anybody from the town of Scarborough, Mike was unusually manly for a 15-year-old boy and always "left town" for Halloween.
-
They Have The Same Walk
Forensic gait analysis will tell you that the two men have the exact same hip swivel and stride length. This unusual gait is unique to Mike due to an injury suffered after a passionate night of river dancing when he was 12.
-
The Smoking Gun
If you're not convinced yet, wait till you hear this. The undeniable proof Mike Myers is actually Michael is... sh*t, we lost our train of thought. But you get the point. We should probably stop having weed donuts for breakfast.
